How could I?

*ehem*

I know I didn't update my blog, and I'm lazy to update about CNY and stuffs.. (sorry)

I don't like to waste my time seeing those pictures uploaded. argh.

and I'm gonna post in chinese!

星期四你知道你中了韩国的奖学金。。

你第一个通知的人就是我。。

一听到我真的是兴奋，又替你开心！毕竟不是每个人都能有这个荣欣。。

可是，再仔细想想。。你会离开我五年。。

一想到这个，我就不能开心了。。

也知道你能陪我的时间不多。。

心情就更低落了。。

这几天的晚上，一旦孤单一个人，这些恐怖的思想霸占了我的脑。。

眼泪就会自动地流出来。。

好难入睡。。

五年啊。。

五年里，什么事都能发生。。

再见也可能演变成永别。。

我知道我不应该这样，应该对你有信心，别胡思乱想。。

我很理智的告诉我自己，对，如果连这样的暂时分离也能造成我们的分手，那么长痛不如短痛。。

可是。。

我还是会不安啊！

已经习惯和你在一起的日子，你走了，我呢？？

往好处想想，我也可以专心读书，搞好我的音乐，然后去那个奖学金去国外深造。。。

可是。。我会很不舍得啊！

看到你这样开心，我是不应该有这样的心态和想法。。

我也知道你读了这篇文章你会很不开心。。

可是我还是普通人类啊。。。

一看到你就很想哭，因为会想到你会走。。

心情不能愉快，也不知道要对你作出什么表情，说些什么。。

所以我才会冷淡，因为我很怕，我会被伤害。。

我不知道我应该做些什么。。

心痛啊。。

我也不知道怎样才可以有勇气，对你说

再见。。。

At His House!

I'm online-ing at his house! preapring to go to his 8th aunt's restaurant. the meals there are delicioussssss. btw, I dunno what dishes are they cause most are SPANISH+FRENCH+ITALIAN dishes. will updates the pictures soon :D

finally I can update my blog. hehe. this CNY was superb! full with activicties. firstly, going back to kampung. then came back from JB and my cousins came to stay overnight! once in a bluemoon. ^^

then went to SMK B.T.H.O. 2-friends-house-visitation. their houses are getting bigger and bigger and bigger as we visit, which makes me feel so envious. lols. then me and my cousins (not forgetting my babe) went to SUNWAY. had loads of fun there and my babe kept bullied by my cousins. hahas.

kays, gotta go. will update soon. =)

Ever Wonder

what does it feels like when you see the person you ONCE loved doesn't care about you anymore? ok, I don't mean that 'love', but it comes with respect. now their in two different world. I've got mine, you've got yours. I don't expect you reading this, so nevermind. hahas.

it hurts when seeing a place that once belong to you, became some other people. soon, the brain will dye away the memories together, and replacing with the new ones. too bad the heart doesn't erase the feelings. seeing our previous picture brings tsunami to my head. the bitterness, tears, laughters, all came back as good as new. I realised that it ain't that easy to forget. yet whenever I do this, the hurt comes back, and the love will turn to hatred. so I've decided to let go.

now that I must forget you, I will. no more harsh feelings, no love, no hatred, NOTHING.

I promised myself not to drop another tear for you.

Excited?

are you excited? CNY is coming~! those who love $$$ will get what they want, those shopaholic will get to wear their fashionable clothes, only adults wouldn't like CNY. if they are married larh. hehe.

well surprisingly, I'm NOT excited this year. ok, not 100% excited. only excited to wear my new clothes. hahas. dunno why I'm so calm this year. probably knowing something ahead of me isn't a really good idea.

*sighs*

these days ur so damn busy. I feel so free. so ironic. whenever I'm busy, ur always there to kacau me. now that I'm free, no one 'kacau's me. you can imagine me as this:

WOW.

although we planned to go out after CNY, you said maybe you'll be busy that time. so I'm not really excited about it anyway. or else I'll go high myself, fall down and hit hard. haiz.

what should I do??

Lonelinesssss

finally I can update this dying blog. it's not i don't want to, but i have a tigeress at home. hehe.

I'm sick! and it's before CNY! so ironic. ughh. even Vigna knows how to joke about this.

"how on earth can you be sick before CNY lahhh"

=.=

feeling kinda lonely~

my phone is decomposing, or growing 'mushrooms'.

lazy to do homeworks and also because I'm sick. dun wanna use too much of my brainss. everything seems so swell, yet, still feeling lonely.

I ain't Miss Mighty.